An epiphany – finding out the Egg is illegal here causes one to go through the five stages of loss and grief.
Stage 1 – Denial “What? No! Why would the government make them illegal? That can’t be right.” Oh, but it is.
Stage 2 – Anger “That’s ridiculous! It’s a chocolate egg with a toy! Do they think American parents are too stupid to watch their own child?” Do you really want me to answer that?
Stage 3 – Bargaining “Well, maybe if they realized that they aren’t dangerous! I mean, they sell Legos, right? Show them a Lego and show them a Kinder toy! They’ll understand! I’m an adult and I have a hard time opening a Kinder capsule! Surely that would be enough!” Oh, my poor friend. If only the government had the common sense you have. If only. Remember, newest Eggvocate, a great portion of the govt is motivated by money. Not common sense.
Stage 4 – Depression At this point, the bargaining stops and the person now turns to surfing the web for images, videos, and stories about the illegal little Egg. They share on their page how sad they are that their children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren will never get to experience the joy of opening a Kinder Egg, struggle with the plastic capsule, and play with the insanely cool toy on the inside. Great sadness for the lost future moments of joy.
Stage 5- Acceptance For the Kinder, this stage is subdivided into two types of acceptance.
A. The “Oh Well” Group – as in “Oh well, I guess that’s that. The government knows what is best for me and my children.” To you, we say, “Boo! Your true love lives! Boo! Rubbish! Filth! Slime! Muck! Boo! Boo!”
B. The “Oh No They Didn’t” Group – You are one of us. You refuse to accept the preposterous ban. You refuse to bow down to the powers that are motivated by money. You are motivated by joy. Chocolate with a cool toy? That’s joy. (Not to be confused with Kinder Joy, which is also delicious, but does not have a toy.) To those who fall under the second category, we say, “Will you join in our crusade? Who will be strong and stand with me?”
Yes, gone a bit silly. This might be the undocumented sixth step of Kinder loss and grief. Outright lunacy, rooted in utter frustration.
The fight continues but with little headway. Our world is in turmoil. Illnesses, wars, insanity. I’ve had people ask why I bother with this. One even asked, “Don’t you have something better to do with your time?” My reply? I do a lot of things with my time. I’m a mom (insert giant list of jobs here), a wife, a genealogist, an avid reader, a student of politics and history, an active church member, a lover of baking and cooking…the list goes on. Somehow, between all of that, I fit in this cause. Why? Because it’s simple. Or it should be. When you put it on paper it’s very simple. But, for some reason, it’s not. Illnesses, wars, crazy mean people? So not simple. This is the one thing I can wrap my head around and feel like I could possibly make a difference.
I grew up with the Kinder Egg. My happiest memories are those of summers spent at my grandparents’ home in the French Alps. Long, wonderful summer days playing with my cousins outside, helping my grandmother feed the chickens, seeing my grandfather working in the garden, and sitting around the dinner table for hours chatting and eating. When the six cousins got Kinder Eggs, we’d sit together and watch with anticipation to see who got what toy. Or who got stuck with a puzzle. (My daughter loves those – go figure!)
Maybe I’m still stuck in Step 4. I don’t know. What I DO know is that in this time of turmoil and uncertainty, it would be lovely to surprise my three daughters with a Kinder Egg and watch the joy on their faces as they unwrap the magic. Is that too much to ask?
So the fight continues. We’re still collecting signatures. I’m about to post about that. Major upsetting news.